Defying Levity
by MysticMeg
Summary: Glinda takes on a mission impossible: to make Elphie smile, and never mind the cost. Fluffy humour piece, may become Gelphie. Revived at long last - I hope someone still cares!
1. Part I

**Defying Levity**

**_A/N: I'm not at all sure how this will turn out, it's just a little something I thought up while battling writer's block in my longer story (and after reading this, why not head over there?) The title popped into my head and I couldn't resist. _**

Part I

Glinda was – well, concerned might have been too strong a word. Intrigued, perhaps, with a detached interest. At least that was what she told herself. The fact was, that while a ceasefire had fallen between them, Elphaba remained more or less a mystery. And more to the point, an emotional black hole. The green girl didn't cry, didn't sulk or snap or moan. God forbid that anyone should hear her laugh. But what had somehow escaped Glinda until now, was that Elphie hardly ever smiled any more. She didn't think she could remember the last time.

So it was, that in some half-baked show of good will, Glinda resolved on her one goal for the day. She would make her roommate smile (if it killed her).

Starting small, she turned her legendary charm to overdrive. But, if appearances were to be believed, Elphie, hurriedly making for the bathroom, seemed more nauseous than anything else.

Plan B was to dazzle their first class with her wit. Shenshen and Pfanee always laughed at Glinda's jokes. Although, with her two friends' combined brainpower rather on the level of a small canary, perhaps their judgement was not quite top-notch. Or so Glinda gathered when her humorous attempts were met with groans and catcalls from most quarters of the room, and cutting disdain from their supposed recipient.

All was not yet lost, however. Their next shared class was with Professor Frome, who, aside from that regrettable hair-do, was renowned for his much-hated seating plans. 'U' for Upland of course following 'T' for Thropp…

Elphie met Glinda's manic hyper-cheerfulness with the usual stony-faced indifference. Her turning a green shoulder to her neighbour's whispering only served to spur the other on. Words failing, Glinda next tested her artistic skills. She couldn't help feeling just a little miffed when a hilarious sketch of their teacher, (grabbing madly at his pathetic toupee, which ever-ratlike, nibbled at his ear lobes), was crumpled carelessly and tossed to the floor.

That was when everything took a stranger turn. Frome, by this point in the term, was sick to death of this particular class, not to mention their childish sniggering. His eagle eyes catching the piece of paper's fall, the professor swooped in to snatch up his prey.

Several deafening moments later, Glinda - that pastel paragon – stood, stunned, outside the door. Thrown out! Ejected! Extra-muralised! One thought intruded on her incomprehension. What had she seen pass across Elphaba's face? The barest of twitches - a poor shadow of a grin?

_**A/N no. 2: Second part will come soon. Review, please! Feed me, it's lunchtime!**_


	2. Part II

Part II

After breaking for a small, yet healthy, balanced lunch, Glinda returned to her task refreshed. Based on Elphaba's faint glimmer of a response, ritual blonde humiliation was clearly the way to go. A whole host of options presented themselves at once. Blonde, she undoubtedly was, but Glinda could be devious when the occasion called. Setting aside those options which could be of danger to her clothes or person, (altruism was all very well and good, but Miss Glinda would only go so far), two or three ideas seemed the most promising.

Was that an ungainly black and green form that she saw? Glinda hastened forward, feeling her moment had come.

"Trip me up!" she muttered to Shenshen at her side.

"What?"

"I'll explain later, just do it - right now!"

Glinda pitched forward, head over elegant footwear. Tumbling into a heap of silks and wayward curls (while cunningly avoiding any patches of wet grass), she brought up, breathless, practically at Elphie's feet.

Although no-one there knew her well enough to tell, Elphie flushed at the unfamiliar sight. Glinda lay, prone, ruffled, her fabled poise upset. For one unguarded instant, the pair's gazes met.

"Here," Elphie offered gruffly, reaching out to help her roommate up. Briefly, they stood together, uncomfortably close, until Elphie turned to continue on her way.

What was that that Glinda saw, before the other girl walked on? More of a wry grimace than the smile she had hoped for - but even so, this was definite progress!

Patently, a sane person would have quit while still ahead. But, never having laid much claim to such a name, Glinda, watching Elphaba disappear from view, busily plotted her next, finest attempt.

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**_A/N: ...and I'm not quite sure what Glinda has in mind just yet. How can our little friend humiliate herself still more? If she truly smiles, will Elphie's head explode? All will be revealed here soon. _**


	3. Part IIIi

Part III

Knowing that she shared no further classes with the joyless one, Glinda's thoughts turned towards the closing of the day. Oblivious to quite how closely her behaviour was verging on flagrant stalking by this point, Glinda knew the one spot where Elphie could be found. In typical hermit-fashion, the green girl would hole up in the library at odd hours, burying herself in disused corners or side-rooms. The latest of these hideouts (as Glinda uncannily just 'happened' to know) was in the rather meagre drama collection, which, since Madame Morrible's cutbacks had hit the arts, was as dank and deserted as Elphie could desire.

_"Drama,"_ mused Glinda, still rooted to the same spot. The word had sparked a tenuous connection in her thoughts. Some childhood memories should rest undisturbed…

"Ow!" at that moment, her concentration broke.

Shenshen and Pfanee would let most things pass them by, but even they required at least pretended interest. Without the contributions of their usual third, the vacuous pair soon started to repeat themselves. Enraged, perhaps, to have her failings thus exposed, Shenshen, being nearer, poked poor Glinda viciously.

"We're going to be late," spat Pfanee, pointedly.

Wondering for the thousandth time why she saddled herself with such lame-brained idiots, Glinda nonetheless held back a withering response. Fixing on her best all-concealing smile, she serenely said,

"You two go ahead. Save me a seat, ok?"

However, little Glinda never made it to that class…


	4. Part IIIii redux

_**A/N: Yes, there's life in this story yet! I know it's been an age, but I was so buried in my other Wicked story that when I finally finished it I needed a detox. Anyway, as the last part needed some correcting and was so very short, I've added the next section directly onto this. **_

Part IIIii (redux)

Drifting across campus with no fixed aim in mind, Glinda looked around her with half-seeing eyes. Her course had led her into lands unknown, where a monstrous breed of native creatures did abound. These surly brutes, freakish in their uncouth creed, worshipped strange gods that civilised man should abhor. Weird, outlandish names were spelled out over temple doors. PHYSICS, the stranger read, and, with a shudder, CHEMISTRY. Glinda felt a chill as her error sunk in. Scientists! She'd trespassed in their domain! Even if, God willing, she survived the homeward trip, what right-minded person would be seen with her again?

Perspiration glimmered on her fevered brow. Glinda, mired in indecision, wildly stared around. Grim, unhandsome buildings loomed on all sides, pressing in. One sole glimpse of green broke up the greyish monotone. Gaze at once arrested, Glinda turned that way...

There, two bleary windows shed a thin, unhallowed light into – the horrors! – a life science lab. Glinda, doubtless impelled by some unseen, eldritch force, stepped gingerly closer, stooping to peer in.

The sight of her roommate sitting calmly down below was, (thankfully, for her own sanity's sake), enough to banish Glinda's crazed imaginings. For, only a fool would let such a chance go by…

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Glinda gamely swallowed what remained of her poor pride, steeling herself for her next attempt. The broad windows of her roommate's lab were set high into the dismal basement's walls. Thus, to anyone happening to look her way, Glinda stood framed, from toe to midriff. Slowly, she bobbed across their view, crouching lower as she went. Stiffly swinging arms accompanied her pantomime, the whole bizarre performance vaguely resembling a stop-motion lurch down some non-existent steps.

Nothing. She'd passed both windows without one glance from below. Sighing inwardly, she turned and did it all again. Inside were some stirrings of incredulous response. Elphie dimly registered the restless mutterings, writing them off as yet more jokes at her expense. That was until a neighbour's comment brought her head up with a painful snap.

"Isn't that the Upland girl?"

Elphie watched, expressionless. So it had come at last. She raised her hand to blandly ask,

"Professor, may I be excused? Clearly my roommate there has gone completely mad."

Thirty seconds later, she appeared at Glinda's side. That the blonde met her with a demented grin didn't exactly bode well, sanity-wise.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" Elphie grabbed the other's arm as spoke, dragging her roommate round the corner, out of view.

"Have you been drinking? It's drugs, isn't it?"

"What?" spluttered Glinda, "Elphaba, no!"

"Then what _was _that, you - you lunatic?!"

Glinda had been so sure that it would work this time. All she'd managed was to make Elphie mad again. The thought left her dejected, hitting strangely close to home.

"Just a joke," she explained half-heartedly.

"Take yourself -," snapped Elphaba, turning Glinda right around " - and your so-called humour back where they belong."

As she watched her roommate trail disconsolately off, it occurred to Elphie that she'd been a little hard.

_**A/N 2: I'm not exactly in the mood for humour today, so apologies if it reads differently. But there will be more to come soon, once I've managed to remember what I'd planned. Thanks for all the comments before, I hope some of you will still be reading...**_


	5. Part IV

**_A/N: Funnier today? I hope so. I was in a really strange mood this afternoon - but then, that's nothing new._**

Part IV

Admittedly her ego was a little bruised, but Glinda never let such setbacks trouble her for long. Her thoughts returned to their earlier train, yet another hare-brained scheme hatching behind her wide blue eyes.

So intent was our young friend on her byzantine plots, that absolutely nothing caught her interest. In fact, it was the day before a conjuration test, and the campus fairly crackled with miscast energy. In her short walk back to the dorm block, the hapless blonde was subject to a series of mishaps - a sharp shower of jelly beans pattered off her head; a troupe of singing penguins pirouetted by; the fountain had been turned into a giant fudge gateau, which was soon surrounded by a flock of ladies' hats, all gaily launching themselves at the vast cake, one by one. It was only when the gargoyle above the hall's main door burst into the strains of a tenor aria that Glinda dimly wondered if things were somewhat amiss. Inside, there were no signs of the raging anarchy. Absently shaking confectionary out of her cuffs, Glinda dropped her satchel in a corner of their room, already turning to check the clock. Elphaba should be headed to the library any time…

As yet, even the efforts of a crack team of postgrads had failed to subdue the chaos out of doors. Incredibly, Glinda still noticed none of it as she calmly re-crossed the battle-scarred lawns. Murderous flights of silverware whizzed past above her head, impacting an oak tree which let out a high "miaow". A stricken second year called for her help in vain, cornered by an strangely amorous plate of chops. Glinda reached her destination unharassed, only stumbling as the top step nibbled at her toes.

The library was oddly, even eerily calm. But sure enough, up in her accustomed refuge, Elphaba sat, alone at last. Her foul mood had only deepened in the past half hour, and her fuming passage through still more pointless irritants had been marked by furious swearing and heavy, booted thumps. Then, just as her tensed shoulders began loose their load…

"Hello!!" an all-too-familiar voice called.

"Glinda," she grated, resettling her glasses wearily. "Is it worth asking what you are doing here?"

"Actually, I'm looking for this play I used to know."

The green girl was quite alarming in her natural habitat. Nervous, Glinda unwisely began to improvise.

"It's for - er… - my Intro to Politics class. They want us to prepare a dramatic scene. You know, to… - to boost our confidence."

Just as her powers of invention wound down, Glinda mercifully found what she'd been looking for.

"Here it is!" she flourished a tattered volume. "Look!" Elphie flinched as Glinda shoved the book under her nose.

"_Over The Rainbow," _Elphaba read. "What is it with you and all the drugs today?"

"Elphaba! No drugs!" chided Glinda indignantly. "It's a comedy, a famous one I'll have you know."

"Ok…" sneered Elphie sceptically.

"Really! There's this girl, she's carried by a hurricane -"

" - Well, that's ridiculous for a start…"

**_A/N 2: So, who wants Glinda to read a scene from that renowned masterwork, Over The Rainbow, otherwise known as Oz: The Pantomime? No prizes for guessing where I went this past Christmas. Warning - may include crazed or scandalous content. Audience participation is required. And for those non-Brits who have no idea what I'm on about...that's what Google is for! _**


End file.
